Umm Kulthum bint Abi Bakr: Courage and Wisdom
The Story of a Young Woman’s Courage and the Wisdom of Umar ibn al-Khattab (RA)
When Umar ibn al-Khattab (RA), the Commander of the Faithful, decided to propose to Umm Kulthum bint Abi Bakr (RA), he sent a message to her sister, Aisha (RA), the wife of the Prophet ﷺ. Aisha (RA) was delighted by this news and hurried to inform her sister of the happy tidings.
To her surprise, Umm Kulthum responded, “What do I want with Umar? He is a man of rough living and intense jealousy, whose mind is always occupied with the affairs of the people. I am a young woman who wants someone who will shower me with love and be a devoted worshipper of Allah.”
Aisha (RA) was astonished by her sister’s response and said, “My dear, he is Umar, the Commander of the Faithful!”
Umm Kulthum became upset and said, “By Allah, if you do not leave me alone, I will scream in front of the grave of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ that I do not want Umar ibn al-Khattab!”
Aisha (RA) was perplexed by her sister’s stance and sent for Amr ibn al-Aas (RA), who was known for his wisdom and cleverness. She informed him of the situation.
Amr ibn al-Aas (RA) went to Umar ibn al-Khattab (RA) and asked him, “Will you not marry?”
Umar (RA) happily replied, “Yes.”
Amr ibn al-Aas (RA) asked, “To whom?”
Umar (RA) replied, “To Umm Kulthum bint Abi Bakr.”
Amr ibn al-Aas (RA) responded, “What do you want with that young girl? Her father has passed away, and she weeps for you day and night, mourning her father.”
Umar ibn al-Khattab (RA) looked at him meaningfully and asked, “Did Aisha tell you?”
Amr ibn al-Aas (RA) replied, “Yes.”
Umar ibn al-Khattab (RA) understood and nodded, “Then there is no need for her.”
This story highlights the courage of Umm Kulthum (RA) and the wisdom of Umar ibn al-Khattab (RA). Umm Kulthum’s refusal of Umar (RA) was not out of disrespect but out of her desire for a life that suited her needs and aspirations.
Umm Kulthum (RA) later married Talha ibn Ubaidullah (RA), one of the ten companions promised Paradise. She described her life with Talha (RA) as follows:
“When Talha saw me, he would brighten up. When he heard my voice, he would smile. When I cried, he would cry. He would not sleep until he was sure I was comfortable in my bed. He never missed a prayer without praying for me before himself. When I was sick, he would share my pain as if the illness was in his own body.”
May Allah be pleased with them all.
Courage and Respect
Umm Kulthum’s (RA) courage in refusing Umar ibn al-Khattab (RA) demonstrates the respect and freedom of expression that existed in early Islamic society. Despite Umar’s (RA) high status as the Commander of the Faithful, Umm Kulthum (RA) was able to voice her preferences without fear.
“The best of you are those who are best to their women.”
— Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, Sahih al-Tirmidhi
Wisdom and Tact
The wisdom and tact of Aisha (RA) and Amr ibn al-Aas (RA) in handling the situation reflect the high level of diplomacy and respect in early Islamic society. They found a respectful way to convey Umm Kulthum’s (RA) feelings to Umar (RA).
“The most perfect believers in faith are those with the best character, and the best of you are those who are best to their wives.”
— Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, Sahih al-Tirmidhi
Acceptance and Humility
Umar ibn al-Khattab’s (RA) acceptance of Umm Kulthum’s (RA) refusal showcases his humility and understanding. Despite his high status, he respected her choice and did not impose his will upon her.
“Whoever is not merciful to people, Allah will not be merciful to him.”
— Prophet Muhammad ﷺ, Sahih al-Bukhari
Al-Isti’ab by Ibn Abd al-Barr · Usd al-Ghabah by Ibn al-Athir · Sahih al-Tirmidhi · Sahih al-Bukhari
Be First to Comment